


Complementary

by pippinmctaggart



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Humor, Interviews, M/M, Ridiculousness, best mates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-05-03
Updated: 2005-05-03
Packaged: 2018-03-31 00:31:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3957703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pippinmctaggart/pseuds/pippinmctaggart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An interview with the boys, written to amuse myself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Complementary

Dom and Billy at your service. What's that? Who's who? Well, he's--actually, it doesn't matter. In all the important ways, we're interchangeable, really.

_Don't know that I'd say interchangeable. Transposable, maybe._

That means the same thing!

_Not quite._

Does too. Now shut your gob, I was talking.

_Pillock._

Wanker. Sorry, you were saying…? How are we interchangeable?

_Transposable._

Shut up. Well, we can both act up a storm. Right? Or are you going to argue with that, too?

_I didn't say anything._

You wanted to. I could see it.

_Gobshite. Get on with it, already, before they give up and walk away._

You wouldn't do that, would you?...I didn't think so. So, we can both act. We both have sexy accents. If you need someone to make you laugh, you can have Billy, or you can have Dom.

_I'm funnier, though._

Yeah, you are. But I'm funny too, aren't I?

_Very. You make me laugh all the time._

Good. I like to make you laugh. Oh, and if a mate needs something, they can call Dom, or they can call Billy. We're both very reliable that way.

_You're better over the phone. I think you listen better. Which is ironic, really._

Ironic? What is that supposed to mean?

 _Well look at you. You can barely sit still. What do_ you _think? That would drive you 'round the bend if you had to share space with that energy all the bloody time, wouldn't it?... See? It's not just me._

So I'm a very active bloke! What does that have to do with listening?

 _Because in the same room, you give the definite impression that you're not listening. You're here, you're there, you're fucking everywhere, and I never know if you've heard me or not. But on the phone it's the exact opposite. You can just_ feel _him listening, you know? 'S incredible. That's why Elwood always calls you when he's down, rather than me._

But you're so much better at the advice than I am. You can always point out how to fix things, how to deal. Me, I just listen and make sympathetic noises.

_Don't discount sympathy so quickly. Often it's all people really want, they don't want the advice. At least, that's the impression I get when I'm given two fingers. Or punched._

Punched? Who punched you?

_Orli._

He never. Why?

 _He didn't like my advice. Of course, then he immediately gave me one of those sodding tentacle hugs, so I suppose he wasn't_ too _pissed._

What was that?...Who do _we_ talk to? Each other.

_No question. Number two on my speed dial._

Two? TWO? You bastard, who's number one? How could anyone be ahead of me?

_Thai takeaway._

Oh. Oh, well, that's all right, then. That's his favourite food, you know, Thai. Mine's Japanese. I love sushi.

_I make great sushi. I make it every time he comes to visit me._

Fucking excellent sushi. Why do you think I visit you so often?

_Because you love me, of course._

True. So, what next?...My favourite smell?

_Doggie poo._

You're so juvenile sometimes, I honestly don't know why I put up with you.

_Because I make you snort beer out your nose._

That really fucking hurt, you know. Next time you want to tie Elwood's laces together and then pants him, give a bloke some warning, will you?

_I promise. Sorry?...Oh, my favourite smell. Him._

Don't mince words or anything.

_Why should I? It's true--you smell lovely._

I really do, you know. Want to smell?....Why thank you. It's in my genes.

_As long as it's not in your jeans._

Shut it, wanker.

_Ask me something. Anything._

Okay. Why do you--

_Not you, idiot. Them._

Oh. All right.

_Sorry, can you repeat that?...My favourite part of shooting Lord of the Rings. That's easy. Meeting him._

Me too. My first day, he gave me a big hug, and that was it. I knew.

_They didn't ask you, they asked me. Maybe I'll change my answer._

You wouldn't!

_No. No, I wouldn't. It's still meeting him. But my second favourite part of shooting was the wig. I looked damned cute in that wig._

You did. I still think you should have stolen it on the last day of shooting. You could have worn it for…special occasions.

_Watch your mouth. And don't look so innocent, no one's buying it._

Yeah?...Oh, are we done already? That was fun.

_Of course it was. I'm here, aren't I?_

Oh, stop. You're not that great.

_Yes, I am._

I know you are...Not interchangeable?

_Transposable?_

Shut it, dammit...Complementary? Yeah...Yeah, I see. Because we're not the same, we can't substitute one for the other. We don't translate exactly.

_We're not different languages, because we understand each other perfectly. More like different dialects of the same language, maybe._

But we...yeah, exactly. Fill each other's lack. I fucking love that.

_Spot on. Complementary. Yeah, that' s it, all right._

Yeah.


End file.
